Wednesday 30 November 2011

Feeling Hungry?

Well exploring the deepest depths of the internet, i found the website "Pimp than snack".

Weve all heard of Pimp my ride. Well this has nothing to do with it.
 


This site seems like a fantasy concocted by Johnny Vegas or someone of similar stature. It features peoples attempts to turn humble, well known, household snacks into super sized versions. Its such a brilliant site to have a gander at, and I will guarantee it will make you hungry just looking at the pictures. Some of the ideas are genius and here are a few of my favorites:




Guaranteed to be make a party a 'Party. Not only would this feed and amaze your guests, but you can also use its as weapon for any party crashers.


All i can say is the poor bastard who had to eat this brilliantly constructed work of art is going to have one hell of a nasty brain-freeze. I doubt they could eat it before it melts. As to why its on a nasty old picnic bench, I do not know.


The King of kings. "Can i have your last giant rollo?"

"Fuck Off"


So keep track of Pimp that snack, for all the latest super sized munchies. And next time your eating an oversized item of confectionary; Pretend your a hobbit, or a vertically challenged person.

Thursday 24 November 2011

Peggle Heads

WARNING: There is a new drug sweeping the nation, Turning people into mindless zombies. This drug is easily available to people of all ages and is highly addictive. The drug is in fact a game that is going round distracting everyone from getting work done. The game in question is called Peggle, and it is capable of turning even the most productive mind into a ‘Peggle head’. If you know anyone who is currently playing this game it is advised that you switch their computer off immediately!




Okay so it’s not that bad. It’s available on Popcap games, and as childish and immature as it first appears it will soon have you hooked. Beginning on the adventure mode it takes you through a variety of levels which look a lot like something from Pong. The aim is to fire your balls in attempt to take out all the red balls scattered around the screen. The blues help you gain points but taking out the reds is your main aim. Landing it in the bucket that goes across the bottom off the screen does give you extra points and a free ball 1(known as a bucket bastard) but isn’t actually necessary.




The two other balls in the game are the green and the purple. The purple boosts points and there’s one available on each shot. There are two greens throughout each game. By hitting the green you will receive a bonus power which varies on the different character you pick. For example if you’ve chosen the hamster as a character, when the green is hit the ball splits into two. And other similar crazy things for other characters.

This game is defiantly not suitable for people who have taken any type of hallucinogens. For a start all the characters look like a some strange nightmarish version of the Magic roundabout. And the sound’s that come from the game sounds like an overexcited alarm clock.


It’s a fun waste of time, and it’s worth it just to hear this when you eliminate all the red balls....The Extreme Fever



Rating: A hefty 3.5 out of 5


Click here to get the game!

Friday 18 November 2011

Distraction of the week: Call of duty - Modern Warfare 3

Finishing the fight



Explosions, constant gunfire and angry men constantly shouting at each other can only mean one thing ... one of the highest selling game series’ is back with another instalment.

As with the previous Modern warfare games the player is thrown straight into the fight where the second game left off. The island of Manhattan is under attack from the Russians, and you are forced to fight your way through the city to the dock where you plant charges on a Russian submarine before running for your life over a sinking ship before an extreme motorboat chase.

And from there on the game is literally non-stop action. And like any Call of Duty; you take your eyes of the screen for a second and ...Dead.

Probably the most grabbing points of the Campaign game play are the epic fights that take in all manner of well known places from a desperate chase on the London Underground to prevent a weapon being detonated by the houses of parliament, to an eerie scene of the Eiffel tower crashing to the ground like a tree being chopped down. And not all combat takes place on the ground, with the obvious air support missions (which involve just blasting the crap out of everything your told too shoot) - there is also a level in which the Russian President (unfortunately not Putin) has his plane hijacked which goes out of control forcing you to float through the air in zero gravity while still popping enemies off. It’s a lot like the episode off the Simpson's in which |Homer floats around a space shuttle eating crisps.

But enough about the Campaign, after the four hours it takes to complete you do feel slightly ripped off and angry you queued up for 2 hours at a midnight launch to get your hands on a copy. But alas that is when you turn to online multi-player to begin wasting away the next month of your life trying to earn the title of prestige.

It’s the same as the 2 previous multiplayers’s when first starting at Private (level 1) equipped with nothing but the games own custom classes to protect your sorry ass. But after a few cheeky kills and an infinite amount of annoying, humiliating deaths you work your level up until you start unlocking all those guns that people were killing you with. The levels are good but remain full of annoying hidey holes for those blasted campers.

So overall the game is good, not as epic as modern warfare 2 but after all the trouble the games creators’ Infinity ward had (Find out more by clicking here). I believe they’ve once again created a gaming masterpiece that finishes the storyline from the first 2 game and fills in all those confusing gaps in plot modern warfare 2 brought about.

One of the more graphic cut scenes: 



Rating: 4 out of 5
All those PS3 Users out there should add me @ Mass_Tingler.
My grammar may be terrible but I’ll kick your ass in a free-for-all game.

Thursday 10 November 2011

In the beginning there was ... The Rick Roll!


My first internet related distraction (which is more of a forced distraction than intended) I found out about in college. Where other members of my classed decided it would be “proper awesome” to change my homepage on ‘ye olde’ Firefox to something which I did not realise was some sort of cultural phenomenon at the time. I talk of course of the age old “rick roll’d” which for those of you who have never come across it – it consisted of a website that would prevent you from closing the tab whilst playing the Rick Astley 80’s number  1 Never gonna give you up. In a futile attempt to close it you would end up having to click through the lyrics line by line. Unfortunately due to windows seven and new browsers such as Google Chrome you won’t be able to enjoy the full experience. But just imaging having your hands strapped down while someone force plays you the song against your will (Unless you’re an eighties child in which case you’ll probably love it and sit there thinking “Jokes on you because I flipping love this song”).

RickRoll'd


There have been several variations of the Rick Roll, my most favourite being the Barack roll. Which shows clips of Obama speaking during his electoral campaign, and has been to edited so that Barack is speaking all the words to Never gonna give you up while the song is played in the background. There’s also a nifty bit of dancing from Obama.

BarrackRoll'd


A more creepy version is the McRoll which is pretty unexplainable, from what ive gathered its a selection of Japanese mc donalds advert edited to a strange song. I would much prefer listening to Rick Astley than sitting through this Headache.

McRoll'd

And finally a Roll which game and went a lot quicker than the previous 3; The Rolf roll. Which sticks to the same concept as the others but just plays a continous loop of the Anmimal Hospital theme song

No one wants to listen to that so here's some Animal hospital Dubstep.

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